I pity the fool who don't know it's clobberin' time

As Jack Benny used to say "We're a little late, so good night, folks." In other words...Wodehouse tomorrow. (I picked a slightly longer book this week by chance!) It's been a long day, so I'll leave you with just one brief but fun image...

The Thing as Mr. T, in a drawing submitted by fan Anthony Hochrein (now a pro illustrator) to the "Fantastic Four Fan Page" letter column in FF #261 (December 1983):

Johnny Storm is a Dumbass, Exhibit A

To paraphrase Pseudolus: "Wodehouse tomorrow, Johnny Storm tonight!"

Okay, let's do a little roleplaying here, shall we? Get yourself for a moment in the head of Mister Johnny Storm, a.k.a. The Human Torch, won't you? Okay, you set? All comfy in there? Wait...stop thinking about Angelina Jolie...okay, shove Beyoncé over to the side of your mind...okay, now clear your head of this and this...you all set?

Okay, you're Johnny Storm. First, step away from the drapes. Next...imagine that you're alone in the Baxter Building when suddenly...Dr. Doom attacks! Awwww, he's always doin' that. And he's brought some kind of sophisticated battle robot that's just meant for clobberin' time, but which is impervious to flame. Now, think about this: in the middle of the pitched battle, you've got a moment to leave a warning message for the rest of the FF, or perhaps your beloved sister. You're gonna be quick and succinct, right? A few fast words to outline the situation, huh? What would you write? What would you write?

Well, maybe you could write "DOOM & ROBOT ATTACKED" or "FIGHTING DOOM + ROBOT" or even "BEWARE DOOM." Something fast. Something quick. Something that'll let your teammates know the terrors facing them without taking too much time about it, right? You'd think you'd write four, maybe five words, huh?

Panel from Fantastic Four #34, written by Stan Lee, art by Jack Kirby and Chic Stone, lettering by Artie Simek

I mean...at least...at least abbreviate it as "Dr.".

To sum up: Johnny Storm: dumbass.

Ten of a Kind: Army of Me

Special Bonus Buncha Bullys!:

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

Separated at Birth: And over the rooftops when the stars prickle the skies/London is sleeping

L: Excalibur #1 (October 1988), art by Alan Davis and Paul Neary
M: Excalibur #21 (April 1990), art by Chris Wozniak and Al Milgrom
R: X-Men: Die by the Sword #1 (December 2007), art by Jelena Kevic-Djurdevic
(Click picture to Big Ben-size)

Saturday Morning Cartoon: Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest

"Doctor Who: The Infinite Quest" (2007), written by Alan Barnes and directed by Gary Russell
Featuring the voices of David Tennant and Freema Agyeman

Watch the rest:
Episode 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 & 13

Friday Night Fights: The Female of the Species is More Punchy Than the Male

The next time those bullies bad teenagers down at the playground tell me that I hit like a girl...






...I'm going to say to them, Why thank you very much!

You can find this and many more pummeling presentations of punching with pulchritude by "One Punch Goldberg" in the ultra-wonderful Biff-Bam-Pow! #1 (2007) by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer, on sale this week at your local comic book store. Don't miss it; it's one of the most fun comics of the year!

When he puts out the call for fight night, Bahlactus ain't monkeyin' around.

Another thing I don't get about the Star Wars Universe

Why is everybody always acting like it's a big surprise that Darth is the Princess's father? Like that comes out of left field or something in the third movie. Hey, you can pretty much tell that's exactly their relation from the first time you see 'em. Don't believe me? Why, look at the family resemblance...it's uncanny:


And hey, look: they've got the same freakin' last name.


What's more, she has her father's eyes.