Separated at Birth: Election Day

As an addition to Sunday’s Ten of a Kind, here's's a similar-themed Separated at Birth! We here at Comics Oughta Be Fun remind you today to vote early and often! Remember, while the times may change, the campaign jokes seldom do:


cover of Archie #446 (Archie, December 1997), pencils by Stan Goldberg, inks by Henry Scarpelli


cover of Archie #551 (Archie, November 2004), pencils by Stan Goldberg, inks by Bob Smith
Oh, Archie, in the words of Stevie Nicks...will you never win?

Politically-correct Cap.

Mighty Mike Sterling over at Progressive Ruin has brightened up all our days by posting some weirdly compelling sound effects panels from a 1975 issue of Captain America. Go check 'em out!

Here's one of the panels:


Not only do I have no idea what's goin' on in that panel, it's also a little, um...politically incorrect. So I fixed it:


See? Anyone can be PC...even when you're fighting a horde of snake-themed villains. Now you know...and knowing is half the battle!

Election Day: Vote tomorrow, mortal man / Sayeth the Demon...Etrigan!

Ever-vigilant Sleestak points out I missed one of the greatest election covers in yesterday's "Ten of a Kind":


cover of the Demon (1990 series) #27 (DC, September 1992), pencils by Val Semeiks, inks by Karl Kesel
Thanks, Sleestak! I think we can all agree the devil you vote for is better than the devil you don't, so get out there and vote tomorrow like your soul depends on it!

It's a good time to be a Superman fan.

52 WEEK 26: This comic is fun. We're at the halfway point of the series I considered to be a wacky experiment on DC's part and which has turned out to be one of the greatest delights for me for far this year. I like the fast movement that the weekly schedule provides, the slow but steady mysteries twisting around each other, and the examinations and growths of a core group of the DCU's second-tier heroes and villains. This one brings the beginning of a new storyline for Montoya and the Question, a faceoff between Steel and Starlight (my least favorite plotline of the series so far, but I'm still eager to see where it's goin'), a nicely Fawcetty dinner party, a Mr. Tawky Tawny analogue for the Black Marvel Family, and The Best Line of the Week: "Everyone knows you can't have a Justice League without a Manhunter from Mars!" And as tangled as Hawkman's origin has been post-Crisis, didja ever think you'd see his story as something you could sum up in two pages? Me neither. Here's to another twenty-six weeks of a world without Superman, Wonder Woman or Batman, 'coz I'm enjoyin' the DCU jus' fine without 'em.


AGENTS OF ATLAS #4: This comic is fun. Whoa! How's that for a psyche on this little stuffed Namora fan after last issue's startling final page! This issue is a perfect all-out action adventure following #3's lengthy recap, leading me to believe, man, this thing's gonna read great in the trade. (But don't wait for the trade, pick it up now! It's got giant crabs!) My favorite bit was a clever meta-fiction tip of the hairstyle to the problem of making characters look different: now that blonde Namora is a cast member, Venus decides to go redhead so she looks different! Thanks, Venus...you're a very thoughtful mythical being! Plus, who says comics aren't education: I learned that Venus was born of foam! Some of the pellets inside me are a foam/styrene compound, so me 'n' Venus have a lot in common. Maybe she will come over and give me little nose kisses. Nose kisses from Venus. Sigh. (And don't miss Gorilla Man's typed report on the back page listing the Atlas companies they've targeted, especially Atlas Comics: "They only had superhero books, and all those had crossover stories, so you can do buy all of them to get one damn story! Gotta be a racket. And where's all the war books?" Haw! It's funny because it's true.


SHE-HULK #13: This comic is fun...sorta. This issue wraps up the Trial of Starfox storyline which has been danglin' around since #7 (I don't blame Dan Slott for the delay; Civil War not only split the Marvel Universe in two, it split this running plotline!), and hooray hooray! Mister Starfox is not a creepy nasty naughty perv like he's been accused of being. So why is this comic only sorta fun? Well, like I said last issue, I'm less interested in the cosmic storylines of this book than I am the down-to-Earth legal matters of Marvel Manhattan, so the Trial on Titan just makes me a li'l jumpy and eager to get back to planet Earth. But my biggest complaint would be that Dan Slott basically unpacks a deus-ex-Thanos in the last handful of pages that undoes what was a kinda clever and interesting twist of last issue: turns out the real reason behind Thanos's obsession with Death wasn't Starfox after all. Hmmm, that was a lot of ado about nothing then. Still, She-Hulk has the usual clever Slott dialogue that, unlike a lot of comics, is actually funny, and next issue's got Awesome Andy in it, so that's okay by me.


JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #27: This comic is fun...sorta. When JLU is good, it's really, really good. When it's not so good...well, it's just falling into a common trap for the series that there has to be a learning lesson for one of the heroes attached to the action. Black Lightning's pretty-well written in this story (Tony Isabella oughta be proud), but it's a fairly standard story of a hero doubting himself and then finding strength by believing in himself. It wouldn't be a problem if it didn't happen so very often in this series. Plus this issue contained a pretty weird-ass insert comic starring the Teen Titans and Li'l Lara Croft some character named Sara Hunter and her dramatically-overcome-at-the-last-second reading disability. For what turns out to be a PSA comic, it's not quite as in your face campy as this one, and its intents and audience are in the right place, but in putting out its "use your strengths to overcome obstacles" message, it lacks the clever quirkiness and energy of the Teen Titans cartoon and Teen Titans Go! comic book.


FANTASTIC FOUR: THE END #1: This comic is fun. I've been a fan of only a handful of Marvel's "The End" comics (The Hulk, The Punisher), so I approached this book with a little trepidation as well as a little dictionary to look up what "trepidation" means. I shouldn't'a worried: I luvs me some Alan Davis artwork somethin' fierce, and his story is every bit as colorful and dynamic as his trademark art: in the not-too-distant future, the FF is split up and each living their own lives and adventures: Reed throwing himself into his work on a space station, Johnny as a member of the Avengers, Sue exploring the undersea world with Namor, and Ben raising a happy family on Mars with Alicia and the Inhumans. Tantalizing hints of what went wrong to pull superherodom's first family apart are dropped, but the real focus is on an imminent danger that you just know is gonna bring them back together...for one last time, according to the title of this comic. It's a great fun adventure that's filled with both savvy quiet character moments and big splashy fight scenes, but the best part is seeing a logical reason that the FF might be pulled apart and how they deal with it. Published smack-dab in the middle of the highly-suspect actions of 616-Reed Richards, Alan Davis shows up the entire motivation of Civil War by remembering that the FF is, first and foremost, a family.


SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #1: This comic is fun. Between All Star Superman, Busiek on Action and Superman and the new Legion cartoon series, it's a better time than ever to be a Superman fan. Need more proof? Enter Superman Confidential! This new Superman series begins with two of my favorite artists: Darwyn Cooke and Tim Sale, and even tho' Darwyn's writing rather than drawing, his love and respect for the joys of Silver Age comics is evident on every page (well, except for those with the weird Teen Titans insert. Do what I did—rip it out!). I've been a big, big little fan of Tim Sale's artwork on special projects for DC and Marvel: Superman For All Seasons, Batman: The Long Halloween, Catwoman: When in Rome and Spider-Man: Blue have been my favorites. This looks like it's shapin' up to be another one, not merely for good solid superhero action but for its portrayal of one of my very favorite elements of the Superman mythos: the Clark/Lois/Superman love triangle. There's a gorgeously-written and illustrated three-page romantic sequence where Superman and Lois share a champagne toast on top of the Eiffel Tower that is the sort of scene I'd love to see in a Superman movie. Even if the Lois and Clark dialogue is a little more Dave-and-Maddie than Tracy-and-Hepburn, this is a delight. And Kryptonite is coming! Kryptonite is coming! That's why SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #1 is the most fun comic of the week!

Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November

V for Vendetta #3, November 1988

Happy Guy Fawkes Day to my readers in the UK! Be careful lighting your bonfires and fireworks and don't let them get out of control!

Ten of a Kind #21: One person, one vote.* (*May not apply in all states.)

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

What the Sam Scratch is goin' on here?!? #16

Famous Western Badmen #14, January 1953

Clearly this is some definition of the word "kid" I'm not familiar with...

War without end.

"I am sick and tired of this war, and I can see no prospects of having peace for a long time to come, I don’t think it will ever be stopped by fighting, the Yankees cant whip us and we can never whip them, and I see no prospect of peace unless the Yankees themselves rebell and throw down their arms, and refuse to fight any longer."— J. T. Gibson, 78th Pennsylvania, Confederate Army

"I cannot believe the people will stand it any longer losing men by the thousands and money by the millions, for no one knows what as the end appears farther than it did in the beginning."—Delavan Bates, 121st New York Volunteers, Union Army, September 22, 1862

"I do not see as the war is any nearer to a close than it was when I enlisted. I am tired of this war. It is not a just war. If I had known as much when I enlisted as I do now I should of never come out."—Henry Howard Preston, 6th New York Calvary, Union Army

"I did think when I left Home that the war would not last over 15 months But now I would not Be Surprised If it last 5 years. Though it may Close Soon & I Hope it will. But I am Pretty certain it will not close Ere our time of Service is out."—Newton Scott, 36th Infantry, Iowa Volunteers, Union Army, July 22, 1864

"Will this War ever end, have we not been Scurged enough?"—Maria D. Noland, Mt. Air, South Carolina, July 19, 1864

"I wish the war would end I am getting tired of it."— James M. Hulen, 6th Regt. Missouri Volunteers, Confederate Army, March 26, 1865

"It looks like everybody will have to be killed before this war will end. I thought some time back that the war would end but it don't look like it will ever end. I hope and trust it will end before long so we can all come home and stay with you all.

Dear Sister I want to see you and the children the worst in the world. Dear Sister, I can say to you we see a hard time out here at this time. We don't get 1/2 enough to eat. When it gets so they can't feed us I think it is time to quit fighting, and the weather is so hot we can hardly stand it. It's almost like death to have to march....

I must come to a close for this time, you must write as soon as you can, So nothing more at this time I remain your brother until death."—H. J. Douvall, 14th Regiment, South Carolina Volunteer Infantry, Confederate Army, August 10, 1863

Them's fightin' words, Mickey Rapkin!

Most of the comicsblogoball seems to be up in arms about Wired writer Tony Long's bold-faced sneer that a graphic novel isn't good enough to be nominated for a National Book Award. Fie on you, Tony Long. I say, fie on you, and may the full scorn of the assembled bloglegions rightfully wave a fig at you over the vast series of tubes that is the internet.

But my friends, we can't be complacent in merely figging at Mister Long for his narrow-headed view on what makes good literature. Even now other "journalists" for major glossy "periodicals" are spreading lies masquerading as opinion, horrible blind-eyed views that challenge the beliefs we hold to be true and self-evident. Take a big steaming gander at this article from the November issue of GQ:



Now, no doubt you're saying "What's the matter, little bull!" (And at this point you would bend over to give me a friendly reassuring pat on the head, possibly accompanied by a cherry popsicle.) "Why, that headline is right! Superman II didn't suck at all! It was one of the best superhero movies of its time! The headline is right! And stop dripping cherry juice on my brand-new shoes!"

Well, to you i would look up and say "You're wrong!! Read the rest of the article! He is saying that Superman II sucked until now." Heresy! How can you say the movie that gave us Superman punching out Phantom Zone criminals in Metropolis's Times Square (golly, they have one of those in every city, don't they?) "sucks"? Take that back, Mister Mickey Rapkin! Superman II was not a "campy mess" or "a crappy sequel." Sure, I'm eager as anyone is to slide that brand-new Richard Donner cut DVD in and watch the alternate version of the movie. But that film, which has brought a lot of delight, joy, and fun to little stuffed Superman fan me (and I know I'm not the only one!) did not suck!

Humph.

But then what should I expect from a magazine that in the same issue takes not one but two gratitious shots at bullkind?:



and



So, in conclusion, bite me, GQ. Had I actually subscribed to your fashion-laden fishwrap instead of receiving it free in subscription because Cargo went belly-up, I would demand my money back for your yellow journalism that not only slurs the Last Son of Krypton but your Bovine-American readers. I will instead be purchasing Esquire.

Except when they feature those leather jacket fashion spreads.